Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
