Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
operation harelip BJ is a go
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
