Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
