We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
