I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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