Who wears a wallet chain?!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
