You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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