can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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