I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
