Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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