I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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