Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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