I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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