im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm really busy with my period
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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