never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
