I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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