I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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