We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
