You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
