dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
