i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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