its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
