She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
