she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
