Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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