i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
