If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
