Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I deserve this hangover.
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