I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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