Don't make out with my wife yet
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I would ride that face into the sunset
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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