I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
