Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
