um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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