At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had to cum in my sink.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
