5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Barsexuality is the new black.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
