but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
