Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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