you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
