did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
