Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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