is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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