is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
