before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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