I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
