Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
