Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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