the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
