beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
