I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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