I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
