Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
